Having a panic attack can be an overwhelming and sometimes frightening experience—not just for the person in the midst of the attack—but also for a loved one who wants to help. Not only is it challenging to know what to say or do to help them get back to a sense of normalcy, but it also can be difficult to keep your own emotions in check, especially if you do not fully understand what is happening.

But rest assured, with some basic knowledge, understanding, and empathy, you can confidently help someone you care about safely return to a state of calm. Whether this is their first panic attack or one of many, knowing what you should and shouldn't do can help you help them.

Signs of a Panic Attack

Panic attacks are a common issue affecting millions of people each year. Even people who have not been diagnosed with a panic disorder can have a panic attack. In fact, as many as one in five people experience a panic attack at least once in their life.

Because panic attacks tend to happen suddenly and without warning, it is important to know the symptoms. Panic attacks typically last anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes, though some symptoms may linger a little longer. Here are some signs that someone else is having a panic attack:

• Intense anxiety
• Trembling or shaking
• Feeling dizzy, lightheaded, or faint
• Sweating excessively or having hot flashes
• Heart palpitations or pounding in the chest
• Trouble breathing
• Chest tightness or pain
• Chills
• Numbness in the hands or feet
• Nausea or vomiting
• Upset stomach
• Being afraid of losing control or dying
• Detachment or dissociation

It's worth noting that many signs of a panic attack can look similar to a heart attack. If a person you know is having a panic attack for the first time, encourage them to see a healthcare provider to rule out a health emergency.

If you are unsure if this is their first panic attack, you can ask them if they have had a panic attack before and whether they think they’re having one now. That said, there is never any harm in getting emergency medical treatment—even when someone has a history of panic attacks. Doing so not only rules out a medical emergency, but can also provide peace of mind that everything is OK.

What to Do for Someone Having a Panic Attack

When a person is having a panic attack, it's important to stay calm and remember that what they are experiencing will slowly pass and their body will return to its normal state. As your loved one goes through a panic attack, here are some things you can do to provide support and care:

• Ask them what they need: Find out if they would like you to do something or if there is something they've done before that has worked for them in a previous panic attack.
• Reduce distractions if you can: Help them move somewhere that is safe and private if they seem open to it or ask if they want to sit down. Even going outside for fresh air can be helpful for some people.
• Listen to them: If they have something to share or ask for something specific, make sure you listen to them, validate their feelings, and do what you can to meet their requests.
• Be supportive: Speak calmly and gently using short, simple sentences. Remind them that these feelings will go away soon. It can also help to acknowledge the terror they are experiencing and let them know that you're there to support them with anything they need.
• Encourage them to try coping strategies: For instance, some people will be interested in trying a breathing technique like box breathing while others may prefer counting backward from 100. Let them guide you on what they want to try to help them feel calm again.
• Stay with them: Be patient as they work through their feelings and remain with them throughout the panic attack—unless they ask you to leave or give them space. You also want to try to keep them safe if you can, especially if their panic is causing them to take risks like attempting to into traffic or trying to get off of a moving train.

How Do You Help Over Text?

It can be challenging to receive a text message from a friend or family member in distress. But if you do receive a text and believe that your loved one is having a panic attack, it is important to remain calm and supportive. Plus, allowing them to communicate through text message may be just the distraction they need to feel better.

If you are supporting someone having a panic attack via text, here are some strategies to try:

• Ask them how you can support them or if they want you to call someone for help or support
• See if they want to call or use FaceTime (if you're both in a private place), as hearing the voice of a loved one can help calm down anxiety
• Encourage them to try a coping strategy if they're open to it
• Don't force self-help techniques on them and do your best to be respectful of their wishes
• Allow them to call the shots and give them a sense of control of their situation
• If they're open to panic-reducing methods, suggest placing icing on their wrists, using a cold compress, or putting their hands in cold water—as cold sensations can help people calm down
• Try a grounding technique with them, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise which asks them to name five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste
• Keep communicating with your loved one until their panic attack goes away and they feel more at ease
• Wrap up the conversation by thanking them for trusting you and contacting you when they needed help, telling them you're proud of them, and offering to be there any time they need support

What Not to Do for Someone Having a Panic Attack

When someone you care about is having a panic attack, it can be overwhelming, scary, and even confusing. But it is important to not let your confusion or fear get in the way of doing what is best for them. Instead of minimizing or downplaying what they are going through, try being supportive and validating their feelings. The panic and fear they are experiencing is real and it is not "all in their head."

You also should choose your words carefully and avoid saying anything that could hurt them, worsen the situation, or make them feel unsafe. After all, you don't want to embarrass them or shame them. Instead, let them know that you care about them and that you accept them.

Here are some other things you should avoid saying or doing during a panic attack:

• Refrain from telling them to calm down or pass judgment
• Avoid telling them not to worry
• Try not to ask a lot of questions
• Don't assume you know what they need
• Abstain from dismissing their feelings or beliefs—even if they do not make sense to you

When to Contact a Healthcare Provider

If your friend or loved one is experiencing a panic attack for the first time or you are concerned about their health or well-being, it is important to encourage them to seek medical attention either from their healthcare provider or therapist. If they think medical care is a good idea, you can either call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room or urgent care for extra support.

Once there, a healthcare provider can evaluate them and rule out a life-threatening medical condition. They also can prescribe medication that may help them feel better or refer them to an on-call mental health professional to practice coping techniques or talk through their anxieties.

Encouraging Treatment

One of the most important things you can do to help someone who has had a panic attack is to encourage them to find treatment. Keep in mind: this is also one of the most challenging things, too. If you approach the situation without empathy and compassion, or if you push too hard, you can turn your loved one completely against the idea of getting the care they need.

Instead, start by showing your concern and demonstrate that you are willing to listen to them and their concerns. Reassure them that you are there for them, but avoid passing judgment or trying to diagnose them. Let them talk and be there to listen without interrupting or trying to fix things.

For people who are reluctant to see a mental health professional, it can be helpful to compare their panic attacks to having high cholesterol, heart disease, or a thyroid issue. Remind them that they would see a medical professional for these conditions and getting treatment for panic attacks is no different. Seeking treatment helps them find ways to address their condition.

It's also worth noting that some people are afraid to see a therapist or do not know where to start. Come armed with resources they can utilize, such as crisis hotlines they can call or text and online databases to help them find on-call therapists. If they already have a therapist or other mental health provider, you also can offer to go with them to their therapist appointment and sit in the waiting room until they get comfortable going alone.

A Quick Review

It can be confusing, overwhelming, and even scary when someone you care about is having a panic attack. But knowing what to do and say can help your loved one get through the attack and safely return to a state of calm. The key is supporting and empowering them to take charge of the situation so that can feel better.

Once the panic attack has passed, you may want to talk to them about getting treatment. Just be sure that you are respectful of their wishes and boundaries and do not push too hard. You can even offer to go with them to a treatment session the first few times if that's helpful for them. Most importantly, make sure you are a safe person they can rely on for support.

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https://www.health.com/panic-attack-how-to-help-8351121